Tentative Response: Epictetus and Death

3. What rationale can Epictetus have for saying that one should not be upset if members of your family die?

Epictetus writes that one should not be upset if members of one’s family die because, as is stated in the first sentence of the Handbook, “some things are up to us and some are not up to us” (11).  Epictetus explicitly places death in the latter category, telling his audience that that “[they] are foolish if they want [their] children and [their] wife to live forever” (14), as this desire goes against nature.  One of the main tenets of stoicism is that everything happens in “accord[ance] with nature” (13), and that one should focus on reacting well to events that occur, rather than “seek[ing] to have events happen as [one] want[s] them to” (13).  Epictetus also restates this idea in a different manner when he argues that, after the death of a family member, one should “not hold [the dead person] back” (14).  Although his views on the death of family members may seem callous and unfeeling to a contemporary audience, especially since modern medicine is so focused on prolonging life, Epictetus does offer a consolation to those who are faced with trauma.  He reminds his audience that everything taken from them is “given...back” (14) to nature, so the way nature asks for it back should not be of concern.